I Was So Deluded Then, But I'm Wiser Than That Now

Befooled by foolish teachers that my body is my self
Dreaming I'm the center of the universe
I neglected everyone else.
My anguish knew no boundaries
Each moment painfully endowed.
Yes, I was so deluded then
But I'm wiser than that now.

Each day an endless dirge, funereal misery
Faking life like circus clown
Hiding tears so none could see
Pondering Hamlet's doomful quest
Screaming for meaning somehow.
Yes, I was so deluded then
But I'm wiser than that now.

Misguided grossly blinded hog-tied I was hurled
Into poisonous pernicious jaws of a brutalizing world.
They entangled me in slavery cruel and forced me to kowtow.
Yes, I was so deluded then
But I'm wiser than that now.

Wasting my time twisting my mind with abstract poetry
To smash down the wall that separates us all from true reality.
Denyingly I tried to merge with God my existence to disallow.
Yes, I was so deluded then
But I'm wiser than that now.

By causeless grace I met a sage whose name is Prabhupada
He blessed me with enlightened eyes to break through the facade.
Showered with compassion that I must gift the world somehow.
Yes, before I was so deluded
But I'm wiser than that now.

Explaining the Necessity of Deity Worship
5 May 2015--Vilnius, Lithuania

Testimonial From Charlene Lutchman

I began reading Guru Maharaja's Thought for the Day about six years ago. While in complete ignorance I slowly started to understand more about myself, the material and spiritual worlds, through these mails. When in doubt, I sent a question through to His Grace, and within a short period, He most graciously replied, smashing through ignorance and bringing light form the torchlight of divine knowledge. Now it is a daily routine to read these Thoughts for the Day. I gain hope and inspiration from them, and I think there's a personal message in there for all readers. It almost always corresponds to some aspect of my life at that current time.

I urge one and all to sign up, and an amazing and divine experience shall await you each day. Guru Maharaja's compassion and mercy knows no bounds. Privileged are we to be a part of it.

Please accept my humble expression of gratitude.
Your servant,
Charlene, South Africa

Answers by Citing the Vedic Version:

Question: How to Stop Finding Fault With Devotees?

I have been noticing that I have this tendency to find faults in others. I want to get rid of it but I don't know how, considering the fact that my chanting is mostly mechanical. With a train of thought I find some fault in someone and then instantly regret doing that and go through a long feeling of remorse and guilt. Sometimes, to my horror, I even end up finding faults in pure devotees. I make sure to apologize to them or their deity form (if they are not in this material universe) immediately, but I am very scared because offending devotees causes all devotional activities to be crushed. The worst part is that even though I apologize and counsel myself, I am not able to overcome this tendency of mine and I repeat the same mistake again.

I don't know how I can purify myself so that I can get rid of my fault finding tendency.

Please guide me.
Madu

Answer: Follow the Advice of Guru, Sadhus, and Scripture

If we follow the follow the guidance of the spiritual master, the scriptures, and the saintly teachers, all of our life's problems will be solved. Here's what scripture (the Nrsimha Purana) says about fault-finding:

bhagavati ca harāv ananya-cetā bhṛṣa-malino‘pi virājate manuṣyaḥ
na hi śaśa-kaluṣa-cchavīḥ kadācit timira-paro bhavatām upaiti candraḥ

“Just as the moon appears to have shadows and dark patches, but its glow is not shrouded because of them; similarly, devotees who possess single-minded devotion to the Supreme Lord in spite of having faults and blemishes—even those who have committed most abominable acts—keep on radiating devotion because of their love for the Lord."

Studying the example of the great Vaisnava acarya, Raghunatha Bhatta Goswami, we discover that he never cared to hear blasphemy of a Vaisnava. Even when there were points to be criticized, he used to say that since all the Vaisnavas were engaged in the service of the Lord, he did not mind their faults.

Regarding fault-finding, here's what we read in a letter that Srila Prabhupada wrote to his disciple, Atreya Rishi Das on 4 February 1972:

"People should not expect that even in the Krishna Consciousness Society there will be Utopia. Because devotees are persons, therefore there will always be some lacking -- but the difference is that their lacking, because they have given up everything to serve Krishna -- money, jobs, reputation, wealth, big educations, everything -- their lackings have become transcendental because, despite everything they may do, their topmost intention is to serve Krishna. 'One who is engaged in devotional service, despite the most abominable action, is to be considered saintly because he is rightly situated.' The devotees of Krishna are the most exalted persons on this planet, better than kings, all of them, so we should always remember that and, like the bumblebee, always look for the nectar or the best qualities of a person."

Srila Prabhupada also explains as follows in his purport to Srimad Bhagavatam, Third Canto, Chapter 16, Text 25:

"In general, when dealing with devotees, we should not try to find faults. In Bhagavad-gita also it is confirmed that the devotee who faithfully serves the Supreme Lord, even if found to commit a gross mistake, should be considered a sadhu, or saintly person. Due to former habits he may commit some wrong, but because he is engaged in the service of the Lord, that wrong should not be taken very seriously."

So you need to stop listening to your rascal mind and from now only take the teachings of the spiritual master, the scriptures, and the sages as your guiding light. This and only this will bring you out of the darkness of ignorance and bring you fully into the happy enlightened life of pure Krishna consciousness. Otherwise if you continue fault finding, you will remain entangled forever in the grossly miserable cycle of repeated birth and death.

Sankarshan Das Adhikari